I feel quite satisfied today for the simple reason that I got to hang out with 2 exteremly fun people and because I ordered my notebook.

But my satisfaction was unfortunately over-ridden by my depression at not being able to shop.

Shopping makes me happy. And there are always things that I want. The problem with me is that I never have the money to buy the things that I want and when I have money I don't have the heart or the occasion to buy anything.

Today, seeing as how I didn't have any money, as will be my situation for some time, I saw many things that I would love to have. And now with Sangae coming on Saturday, and thus an occasion to dress up, I have a tonne of ideas on what to wear and what I want, but nothing will happen.

Here are the things that I saw today that I would love to have.

- turquise-y low-necked dress ($68) from Forever 21 [totally amazing with a simple black bead necklace and black strappy heels and a black clutch]
- mock-croc pointy-toed stilettoes with brown bow ($129) from Aldo [so so classy]
- black strappy sandals with diamantes ($69) from Aldo [comfy and pretty!]
- girl boxers ($13) from Topshop [as Pinky would say, "TOO CUTE!"]
- magenta jacket with embroidery ($89) from Zara Girls [I want for Uni!]

I don't know why, but I want to look stunning on Saturday. I really do. I think some part of me thinks it may be my last chance to have a nice, dressed-up, special night with him for a long long time to come. We probably won't get the alone time I wished we could but I guess I have to take what I can get. I don't want to say anything and get into another argument. The time together should be enough.

I just wish I could make his jaw drop and his heart pound. I wish I could make his tummy do a cartwheel.