Wednesday, March 15, 2006

You never seem to know what made me feel "this way" or "that way". You never seem to get it. Because as far as you're concerned you've been nothing but perfect to me.

Maybe you have.

Maybe you've been perfect.

But not to me. Not right now.

I feel unappreciated.

And it's the worst feeling. It makes you feel small. Unimportant.

Too small to matter to the ones that matter.

Do I matter at all?

Does what I feel mean anything to you? Or have you just associated all my emotions to PMS and "some female hormonal junk"?

I'm tired of trying so hard with you. I'm tired of trying and trying and trying and not have you acknowledge even the effort. Because there IS effort. Do you not see it? Or are you ignoring it?

Because whatever it is, it's hurting me. And brushing it aside doesn't make it go away. And neither does forcing me to talk about it. And neither does making me feel bad about feeling this way.

I don't know what to do about anything right now.

I just hurt. And you don't know why. And even if you did, it'll never be your fault.

It'll always be mine.

Mine.

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