Sunday, December 30, 2007

It's very easy to say that the past doesn't matter, isn't it? It's the right thing to say, the romantic thing, the chivalrous thing even.

I would never say it though. I know it matters. It matters to me for sure. I think about it all the time. I think about what brought me here, what brought you here, why We are here. I think about all of it, the good and the horrendously heart-wrenching. I thinkg about pasts that are notmine and maybe not even yours, but that have affected me. It all matters.

What irks me is the surety with which it is said that pasts do not matter. That the present and the future is all that counts. It sounds so good, so ideal. I'd love for that, simply because it would make things alot easier and a lot of people, not just me, a lot happier.

But it's not true is it?

So don't try and convince me that it is. Because silly silly me always ends up believing it and then getting hurt.

Even though I know much much Much better.

Don't get me wrong, I take the blame as well. My need to remember the past and worship the happy moments and relive them leaves me open to disappointment time and time again. It also makes life very difficult for the people who want to (even if they really cannot) leave the past behind.

Yeah, I find you as difficult to understand as you find me. So there.


Blogger barb michelen said...

look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

5:52 AM  

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