It does't feel like Christmas and I hate that. I walked out of my room (where I've spent all evening) and into the kitchen and it felt like any other night. That's not the way it's meant to be.

I see you trying to make me feel better. And I appreciate it. But as odd as it sounds, I feel like I owe it to myself to feel cranky.

These days are tiring me out. I know I have to stop expecting so much and then getting disappointed. But I just cannot help it sometimes.

What did I want from today? I wanted a few friends over during the day, then I wanted to get dressed and go out somewhere glamorous. Put on a dress and some heels, leave the house and get told I look ravishing. I wanted to meet friends, show off the new jewellery I just acquired, wish the people I know a Merry Christmas, have a few drinks, hold you close and watch other people make silly Christmas fools of themselves. I wanted to stay out til late and go home happy and high.

If ever there was a perfect time for this phrase, this is it:

BAH HUMBUG.