I was watching Guess Who? just now. You know, that Ashton Kutcher/Bernie Mac flick. I'm not the biggest Kutcher fan, but I do like that movie. Espcially for that one scene. That tango bit with the 2 men, when Kutcher's character says
"That's just it, she's everything I'm not. You know, she's my other half. Without her I'm not whole. You know the thing about meeting your other half is you're walking around, you think you're happy, you think you're whole, then you realize you ain't shit without her. Then you can't go back to being just a half 'cause you know what it's like to be whole. "
I love that.
"That's just it, she's everything I'm not. You know, she's my other half. Without her I'm not whole. You know the thing about meeting your other half is you're walking around, you think you're happy, you think you're whole, then you realize you ain't shit without her. Then you can't go back to being just a half 'cause you know what it's like to be whole. "
I love that.
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Have you ever felt like that about anyone?
i'm not sure. i'd love to say that i have, but i don't want to be so bold as to make such a declaration, especially if the feelings were only one way.
have you?
Well, I guess maybe I have. Though I haven’t thought about it in exactly that way…I have used other words I guess… But I really liked the words he used, rough and warm.
So how come you are not sure about the one way issue?
it was hard to tell i guess. it still is.
you know how sometimes you just want a clear and direct sign? instead of all this "let me figure out what he wants based on his words and/or actions."
yeah, i'm kind of still stuck in the above-mentioned rut. heh.
Hmmm kind of painful place to be stuck in I can imagine… So what kind of sign are you wishing for?
nothing in particular. i'm just hoping it's obvious and not one of those "maybe, may not be" kinda things.
are you waiting for something too?
I guess I am just not very good at waiting :) I hate it. I gave him a couple of chances to get things in a constructive direction. But we were only moving in circles. So I told it straight to his face. I probably scared the hell out of him :) He ran… So I guess I can’t really recommend that, even though I will never regret it. It was really nice to say it. It was the truth and I am not ashamed of it.
you shouldn't have to be ashamed. you did what you had to. at least you know now and you have no regrets.
i, on the other hand, am waiting cos i've tried everything else. well, everything that i could have. i'm not sure whether i'm waiting now, or kinda just hanging around in limbo.
odd huh?
So what about him? Is he hanging around too?
i really don't know. and i don't know if i'd be able to handle the answer, whatever it is.
So in some ways you prefer not knowing? So when you make an attempt finding out you are not absolutely sure that you actually want to??
Hmm, interesting. I on the other hand REALLY want to get an answer... But when I get the answer I don’t always value it as much as I thought I would because it is always a simplification. I mean isn't every attempt to describe reality some kind of simplification? And sometimes I find out that I knew (at least parts of) the more complex answer in my heart the whole time :)
well, logic tells me that knowing the answer will help me move on. but fear keeps me here, not really doing anything. occasionally, i get a sudden surge of courage that makes me do or say something that might get a reaction, but other than that i'm kinda just going about my life.
like you, i feel like i know things in my heart. but i have been proven wrong before, so i try not to make too many assumptions.
is your heart usually right?
Fear is a strong power... What are you afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen?
My heart is usually quite right, but not always. It's almost always right about the exact issue its focusing on. But it's tricky when I havn't got the whole picture. Sometimes small things that I can not see from the beginning ajusts the whole picture a bit. So I ususally trust my heart fairly well to be right but I don't trust it to have the complete picture...If that makes any sense to you...
What I also find difficult with hearts is that it's very easy to put to much weight/demands/expectations on fragile feelings. The tricky thing with magical relationships is to find a way to make it hold up to every day life. To make it magical and still have enough stability to keep the magic from backfire-ing. To find something solid to stand on.
But hey, what would life be without challenges :)
honest to god i don't know what the worst that could happen is.
you're right, what IS life without challenges? i'm all challenged out for while though. i'm at the "taking a chill pill and cooling it" stage right about now. i know it doesn't show in the writing though. but inspiration is a funny thing that way.
haha.
I am all challenged out a lot of the time too... I am thinking about getting pregnant but somehow that might be to move from the ashes to the fire or what do you think :) ?
I was just thinking you have to be careful so the place you fear isn't better than the place you are at right now. Fear is powerful enough to drain your courage, energy and joy. It doesn't mean they don't exist. You just can't see them right now...
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